the convo was like few days ago & omigod ! can somebody tell me , where else can i get a guy like this who is like super sweet . 30 secs ehs bi ? i reallie wish this would happen on the day i breathe my last . and yes , i love you like ouh-so much :D
YESTERDAY !
; went to the Rvps bbq organised by the awesomeSixsome , couldnt stay long ,
cause i got curfew and i cant even be late for a second , so i rushed home around 9.30pm and reached home around 10.25pm . hehs . it was a blast lah , seeing all the other ex-Rvps malay students that we've not met for approximately 4years . and there was this person ,
who reallie was damn irritating , like very very irritating . lols , shall not mention who ,
but i think Naqib knows . right right ? went back home , shower and everything and then fell asleep , was so damn tired i dont know why . hahas .
TODAY !
was suppose to go to work today but didnt cause im having fever D: again . i keep falling sick even before i recover fully from the previous time i got ill . hehs . and im on StandBy tmr and Sunday , and i cant work on Saturday . meaning , if i dont get called tmr and Sunday , im only working one day this week which is on Friday -.-
is this a good thing or a bad thing ? depending on how u look at it uhs .
and from the way i look at it , its bad cause my pay is entirely based on how many hours i work . lols . money-face , then again , whos not ? hahas . planning to get the exact same schedule as Ryann next week cause we miss each other , aww .
and i wanna go Far East !, cause Radiah and Seda & not to mention Andy , my awesome ex-manager is there . lols , so Far East , pls pls pls , not have enough manpower , and Andy , pls call on ure dear Lala to take on the job . haha !
and next i wanna talk about some random topic , this has been on my mind since forever .
okay not exactly forever but since last week cause Ry made me realise this .
sometimes , people act all vulnerable to make people have the impression that they are the kind of people who wont stab them in the back as they act all loyal and trustworthy .
other than that , from the show they put on , people give them sympathy cause they not only show us that theyre loyal and trustworthy , they also show us that they have low self-esteem .
ive met alot of this kinda people . and i can admit and accept the fact that ive been cheated emotionally by them . we gave them sympathy and made them our best friends ,
but in the end , they grow stronger than they already were and ended up hurting the people , who help them when they were so-called in theyre vulnerable moments ..
cause now i realised a fact that nobody actuallie have low self-esteem , somewhere in somebody ,
in that little part in their brain , theres something thats telling them , that theyre strong ,
and they can have and do whatever they want if theyre brave enough . like lols , the main point here is that , i dont think i can trust anybody anymore , going through all the failed relationships and in some cases friendship , i think everybody in a way or two feels that theyre superior than the other and that nobody ever admits theyre mistakes . and again i would say ,
someone's low self-esteem is just a facade to cover up for that someone's high self-confidence .
so now , i no longer trust anybody except for those close loved ones who stick with me through whatever . & most importantly , i dont trust people who so-called have no confidence in themself , cause right in front of my eyes theres one living evidence that proves to me my ramblings are right . and you , you promised me loads of things , but up till now , have you ever fulfilled one of them ? so much for not breaking anyone's heart . then , am i not someone ? you think ure such a nice person isit ? u think ure such a angel ? hell no , i feel sorry for myself for ever calling you my bestfriend . cause now i know , you never fulfill ure promises . and that ure that one person i shouldnt have trust from the start , knowing how things would have turned out now . and to ever think , i almost passed out a guy as great as Firas , for a person like you . you dont even care now do you ? and once again i would say , ure low self-esteem is just a facade to cover up for ure high self-confidence . and i think by reading this post , you can somehow figure out who im talking about . and pls , i admit that i did hurt you emotionally , but can you ever admit ure mistakes ? towards me atleast ? think about it , hah ! now i dont think i should even feel guilty for everything . i should follow Ry's advice and not give a shit bout ure feelings or what you think of me anymore cause now i realise i dont live to pls people like you .
and hahas , that took a whole load of my chest , and , i received a text from someone last week , and from the way the person is informed bout my the song on my blog , i can immediately infer that the you i mentioned just now was the informer . and i can also infer that they also did bad-mouth about me which just proves that theyre mega losers whos jealous of my awesome life .
hahas , suckaaaa !
bye .
& I MESSED UP MY BLOG CODES !
shall use my old blogskin for the time being .
