everythings so wrong today . burst into tears during free period / poa today cause of some people who think they're all that , who's giving me the cold shoulder & fuckingly shitty attitude . secondly , my someone made my blood boil during mothertongue & during lunchbreak . thirdly , i lost my freaking usb cable for the second time this week . where the fcuking hell is it ? damn ! but still , today's good cause its Irsyad's 16th birthday , and he was the happiest guy on earth today & seeing him smile is the best . woohooo ! and not forgetting my dear sister Cassie , who's birthday falls on last sunday which was 27 April . Happy Birthday Sis ! & ilovethecardsimadeforthem ! so yeahs , myabe i'll try to curb this irritated , annoyed side of amirah , for awhile till im safely crashed into my bed which will happen in 15mins time .
and yeahs , you talk to me , but you miss the whole point . i wont tell you cause , you did the mistake , you should know wthell is it & not expect me to tell you . sometimes , i do wonder .. just who the hell are you & what did you do to my old man ?
Sunday, April 20, 2008
hello . came back from madrasah , and fell asleep after messing with bro's psp . and i woke up way later than the time im suppose to wake up . & ya , i rushed through my art research , and going off soon to complete the incomplete art assignments ; the colour schemes & final layouts . and due to these , i absent myself from tuition , which is no good cause i need all the revision i can get . nvmind , will study by myself then . & yes ! , tomorrow's monday , theres school and i can meet my awesome friends and also the beloved sial family . an added plus , the 80th anni dinner rehearsals tomorrow and im looking forward to it , cause i can meet Farahhhhh :D theres another opportunity to irritate her like hell . and ouh ya , been passing recent class tests , mock exams & examinations , example , madrasah ; Akhlak - 38/40 , Fiqh - 32/40 , Akidah - 30/40 , Arab - 40/40 , Tafsir - 40/40 . and also various Biology & Chemisty tests , line quoted from mdmL , 'Nurul , You're progessing ! (hugesmileonface)' and also recent Social Studies Mock test , which got me an 21/50 , which is an tremendous improvement , since i always get single digit results . so , YAY ME ! so thats basically it , so buhbye online diary , hello ART ! *screams-around-in-circles-pulling-hair* what good is love , if it keeps on hurting ?
Saturday, April 19, 2008
hello . i studied chemistry just now , and arranged all my chemistry & biology notes into separate files to make it easier for me to study . im concentrating on art tomorrow , cause i need to make another final layout & complete the colour schemes . plus , i have to find more source study for mye's coursework . mye , english & social studies is this friday , & i want study groups so that i'll study better . im looking forward to monday's 80th anni grand dinner rehearsal , cause , i can irritate Farah & Suzanna . weeeeeee ~ nobody irritates people better than i do , hahas . and i wanna change blogskin , cause im sick of my current one . blogskins.com , skins updaters , make nicer blogskins starting from now can ? , cause nothing attracts my eyes now . okay thats all , i wanna watch tv !
im so fcuking stupid , till i have the sudden fcuking urge to cry . i know how fcuking goodlooking you are and also how girls go crazy over you , but do you have the fcuking damn rights to fcuking break ure 'bestfriend's' fcuking heart ? be fcuking careful of what you fcuking tell people !, cause it fcuking hurts me alot when i hear them . i abhore the dreams i dream of you and also how much i love you so . & if you wanna know anything , dial ure 'bestfriend's' number and not ask ure 'bestfriend's' friends . sis chrissy , you told me everything will be alright , then how come im hurting real bad now ? DAMN !
Friday, April 18, 2008
hello . i slept late last night , cause i talk to Irwin on the phone . so , are you feeling better ? some things i said to Irwin , really surprised me . nvmind , i felt better cause i tried to cheered him up . irwin kusuma , haha sop ayam kapaa ? , and the ' babi sial , kau apa hal apa ?! ' lols . fun siol . and i woke up and bro made me late , he took 20 freaking long minutes to shower and went i told him to speed up , he screamed at me . wahhs , no respect ahhs ? pagi-pagi buta , buat orang darah up . and cause of him , he slowed me down and i was 10mins late to meet Irsyad . ahs , forget it .
so sports day bore me . the only fun part was modeling for adith and kevin in the morning . (iwantthepictures!!) other than that , i was damn bored till , i fell asleep for like five minutes sitting down , and i think my head keep nodding off to the wrong side , till i jolted awake . hahas , irsyad laughed at me o.o'' this year , everything is like so messed up . not too mention the too-hot weather , caused me an headache , and it definitely didnt help that we have to sit under the hot sun on the hot ground . i just sat and listen to Irsyad's mp3 the whole day & walk around with Cassie (: . hahas , i got superpower larh sister . keep seeing the mutt (mat) today . lols .
so ya , after dismissal , planned to head over to Queensway to make the class tshirt but they chnged the plans to tmr , so went over to some nearby coffeeshop and had late breakfast , lunch with Adith , Daniel H , Eugene , Patricia , Irsyad , Faid , Suzanna , Renny . then all of us went home . and i screamed inside the bus when Suzanna showed me , okay actually accompanied cause im so scared of watching videos , some scary video . like honestly , startled me like wtfcuk , focus on the chair ya right ! den the *watever appear by the side . the guy who was sitting near us was shaking his head , and everybody in the bus turned and looked at me , wahhhs , one minute of fame perr ? because of this , i rmb-ed getting pranked by ZhenJie during my sec2 days , and since den , i dont accept videos , url-links to youtube or watever , cause im scared . =.='' so ya , reached home and drank like alot , cause i was craving for plain water 0.0'' then watch 'Shopgirl' on tv and then fell asleep until 8pm . i woke up with no headache , but with soreeyes . and by soreeyes , i meant , really-really small , swollen , red eyes . gaaaaaaaaa ~ so , i think , thats all ! :D
p.s ; sial sis chrissy was ryte , everything would be alright . i plucked up all my courage and did what i did .
Thursday, April 17, 2008
hello . today school is such a bore . i have to copy history notes ten times , cause i couldnt do the test cause i couldnt remember the history points and that was the punishment . teacher reduced to five but someone objected so it got back to ten . what the hell ? anyone wanna help me ? after school had malay dance and im happy (: cause i got everything right , lyke YAY ! i managed to push everything out of my mind and dance . after that , met Renny , Irsyad & Chrissy outside library and record Ish & Ren practising oral . hahas . after that went home . so , tmr's sports day and we have to where that hideous 80th anni tshirt . at least we have no form of identification of what house we're in , so , hopefully that means , we can seat anywhere we want . so , lets pray tmr's sports day would be fun .
& nasiruddin told me something , and till now , im thinking , ' god , was i that obvious ? '
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
hello . i felt so guilty today , i almost cried . and i lost my focus during maths srp , and detention was like hell for me , cause even though mamaRyann , Cassie & Joe was there crapping nonsense , my mind was somewhere else . after detention , made cassie walk three storeys up to the food lab to look for irsyad & renny . when she left at around 5pm , continued waiting for them till 5.45pm with Gideon . then bused to kpt & took 119 with Irsyad and Gideon home . ya , basically thats what i did today apart from shooting , 'ure dead' comments at someone . this is pathetic , I feel pathetic . gosh !
Monday, April 14, 2008
when i lose myself , i think of you .
hello , school was great as usual today . only that i got severly reprimanded by art teacher for , 1) not completing my layouts colour scheme . 2) for not bringing my page 1 & 2 of my coursework . 3) for not bringing the measuring tape im suppose to bring . 4) for not making any progress on my coursework for the past 4months . gaga ~ come sept , if i still cant complete my art coursework & final layout which is on sadly , canvas , im a dead girl . and im dead unhappy cause i found out , that olevel art has an paper2 , that we are required to sit in the examination hall for 3 freaking long hours , and draw / paint , etc , etc . and im also disappointed that we have to sit for art mid-year which is coming like , soon . so , by the end of this term , i have to complete two courseworks . god , art is really driving me nuts .
on a lighter note , i had a great laugh with Renny Normala today , everywhere . and MAYBE , i feel abit better , hearing what she & farah had to say . but , yet again , i feel that they dont understand . dont ask me why , i felt that way , but its just the way i really feel . which , just sucks alot . and today talk to Chermaine Wei , which is nice . lols . this morning , i was almost late and almost had to serve detention , if not for MAMARYANNN ! she made me run all the way to the front gate . and i almost died cause i cant breath ! , on top of that , i was carrying my damn heavy school bag , how the heck am i suppose to run properly ? yet , it was funny . and somehow , looking at fee & sham , cheered me up a little . gila punya perempuan . to sum it all up , today was great , except for the occasional sightings of someone (???) and also getting reprimanded by mrS . bye . im not okay .
Saturday, April 12, 2008
im seriously upset , confused and whatever that describes someone's whos confused & upset . i dont know who to talk to , cause im very afraid no one would understand , and i also dont want people to have the impression that im obsessed which i am so not . this thing here , have been lingering in my mind since , i dont know when . and it definitely didnt help that i get to know some new things too . im seriously confused of what i should do , and how should i feel cause everywhere i turn to , gets me trap . when i choose either of the two choices or the other way round , i'll get emotionally trap , and it gets me more confused . why cant i get this thing done and over with , cause its distracting and cause of this i cant study . im very tired , tired of all this shit . i need answers ! even if it saddens me even more , i'll accept it cause maybe , just maybe then i'll get to shift my focus on my studies . someone ?, help me pls ? or maybe , i'll just continue to wait . im feeling even more horrible by the minute . T.T
Thursday, April 10, 2008
someone said the girl look nice . gaga ~ and eyys , if curik or rompak , credit meeee . and you have to click the picture to see the animation .
hello . schools fun today , cause no lessons :D it was polytechnic day in our school , and the 4E & 5N , have to go through a series of talks from various polytechnics or institute of higher learning . cheydebah . and we had the campus visit to the polytechnic of our choice , and i went NYP :D again . me & renny went . irsyad chnged to SAJC w/o telling us . hurhur . so yaa , we did the animation thingy (pointstotheanimationabove) , & its fun . so overall , todays okay .
and yeap , i finally teared and let go everything today , in computer lab 3 , the SHATEC room . i seriously cant take what somewhat had to say , cause seriously , i didnt do anything at all to offend him during the past 4 months . so far , ive been like apologising to him repeatedly , for things i didnt do . and some other people too , some even threatened to punch me when i hurt their friends , when afterall , it was all an misunderstanding or incidents that happen intentionally .. and still , i ignore them and still apologised even though i wasnt at fault . and ya , some people just cant keep their comments to themselves , and lemmie repeat again , i understand chinese , so even if you talk bad about me , i can understand , and even if i didnt catch what you say , i have my dear irsyad and renny to tell me too . so ya , to rply what you say , im not smart but i still do understand chinese . got problem ? even though the freedom of speech is not practise in spore , i have the right to say anything i want , and i know what i said just now didnt hurt anybody . i wasnt even directing it to anybody , it was something normal i said everyday . so , the person who have problem with that , you're the one with the problem , not me . and what happened ? , you used to be nice to me .. and i dont recall ever insulting or offending you in any way , so why the hell show me that attitude of yours ? ive nothing against you and i dont see why you should even have anything against you , cause i did nothing . to add on , someone really further irritate me when he joke about my skirt length . i know that was a joke , but seriously , you chose the wrong time to joke with me . so ya , my eyes was watery lots of times , but i hold everything in until i cant which was in the SHATEC room , so thats when i cried my heart out . like cried non-stop . and its nothing to be proud of , cause its stupid for me to cry , even though after confiding with renny , and confirming with renny that it wasn't stupid . she told me she would react that way too , if it was too much . ya , i endured too much . i tried ignoring everything , but seriously , i endured and ignored too much till i cant endure no more . i seriously loath some people in my class . just mind you own freaking business cause i didnt do anything to you . you cant blame me for getting angry with you when you shout vulgarities at me for no damn reason .. afterall , im a normal person with feelings . and ya , i was already upset when i came to school this morning , it definitely didnt help that i have my 'nice' classmates . just , shut up can ?
im very upset , just leave me alone .
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
i want to be the person who brightens up people's day , even though i cant brightened up my own .
hello . today school's okay . only that i rushed through the essay that im supposed to copy during A.Maths , History , Maths , Recess & English . the essay was damn long , but luckily i managed to finish in time . because of that , i didnt have time to eat during recess and i got gastric ): , and i suffered so much when i walk . &&& im sadd , still . gaga ~ i dont know why . i judt feel sad all of a sudden , dont ask me why , cause i dont know . like i said , this feeling suck . it strucks me anywhere & everywhere & anytime and it suck , alot . cause when i feel like that , i dont know how to move on and act like the way i act before the feeling struck me . geddit ? i dont like this feeling and i really need to do something that'll make this stop cause everytime i successfully forget about this , it'll come back haunting me again . and i know , people has much much more worser problems than mine , so , i wont try to vomit this out to anybody .. cause even if i do , i wont be able to expalin properly and the person whom i vomit this out to , would try to help me the wrong way and then i'll feel worse . even you , my guardian angel , cant help . so dont ask okays ? people , bring out cutecutebabies , cutecutelittlethings , stupidstupid jokes & loudloud music , cause thats the only things that can cheer me up now . even *you , cant cheer me up , cause soon after you cheer me up , something you do will make me sad again . and this few days , you seem to be doing that alot , unknowingly .
ya , and i thought you were suppose to tell the three of us right in the face , what they say about me .. ? erms , im waiting . or maybe you can just admit your mistakes that you're just making them look bad so that i won't be close to the both of them anymore . cause i know that , unlike you , they wont do anything so cheap . im very disgusted . too bad for you .
& i love naqib's random question .
1) Have you ever been in a jealousy position ? - primary school , yeahs . secondary school , no . cause i dont care . 2) Do you ever got influence smoking? or do you ever smoke ? - erms , on account that im not smoking even though half of my class is smoking , shows that im not influence . and no , i never smoke before .
3) If you become rich what would you do? - donate half of the money to charity , save 1/3 of the remainder for the future , spend 1/3 on my family and friends , and spend the remaining 1/3 on myself . ehhs , naqib yusop , better find more random questions to ask me cause i like them , okay . hahas .
i wanna be the first person you think about when you wake up in the morning . the only person you dream of when you're sleeping , and the last person you think about at night . (:
Monday, April 7, 2008
hello . schools okay like usual , only that something really angered me in the morning . guess what ? she complained to teacher . i dont know whats your motive for complaining . fine , i know you want to end this thing with me , but , HELLO ! , you dont have to include mrJU in . you didnt even try to make things better between me and you , and you drag the teacher in ? i would completely understand , if you tried to talk to me and that im stubborn or refused to talk to you , but did you try , noooooo . and it doesnt helps when the teacher thinks im at fault . obviously , he'll side you cause you're the one who came up to him and pour out your woes to him . even though he said he's not siding with anyone , its very obvious that he's angry with me and he thinks im the bad one in this problem . and hello , i know you're sensitive , and you tend to over-react to every small problems , by not talking to you , im keeping my distance from you so that i wont anger you or make you cry , and my jokes are not mean or harsh or whatever , cause it seems that you're the only one who over-reacts to my jokes . and miss , you're biased . im freaking not the only involved in the problem and yet , im the only one who got called out ? if mrJu is talking about feelings here , was he considering mine ? didn't he realise that im also hurt by your actions and also your mean name-calling eg , BITCH ?! and for goodness sake , i pointed the middle finger at you , cause i cant freaking tolerate your attitude and the way you over-react to the incident which happened the day before which was the mudpie incident .. remember ? i didnt want to accompany you and i said sorry but still you went ahead and called me bitch . i wouldnt have blown up and called you that in the first place , if you hadn't do that too .. and mrJU said , nobody have the right to call each other names or point the middle finger whatever even though he/she is angry .. but thats exactly what you did , and i find it just fair that im doing it back to you . and yet again , i was too blame because again , teacher assume im the bad one . and you said i apologised just for the sake of apologising right ? hello , at the first place , im not the one who's at fault when i apologised to you .. but i did apologised sincerely cause i wanted to end everything and just let the four of us , namely ; irsyad , renny , me , you . to enjoy ourself furing the Kukup Trip , but what again ?, you misjudge me . i dont care that you apologised to me just now , cause everythings freaking not my fault . you're the one who got yourself so irritating-sensitive or whatsoever till i cant tolerate your attitude/nonsense . and its freaking unfair that im the only one who got reprimanded by teacher when all of us are against you together . you're biased , irsyad can make a racist joke against you and you laugh it off , but when i made a joke that doesnt even involve you , you blow up and walk away . you told us to be honest with you if you got intolerable , but when we told you , again , you blow up and walk away . you cant freaking blame me that i got so disgusted to look at your face , and by me doing that , you dont have to jump to conclusions that i hate you cause i freaking don't i just hate your freaking attitude which is getting on my freaking nerves . atleast , im not some two-face person who acts nice in front of you and backstab you behind you back . did i ever talk bad about you ? no . its only you're freaking over-reacting imagination running wild . and you want to blame me ? im not the one who's born like that . atleast , i honestly tell people what i really think about you and also say it right to your face , rather then getting all scared after knowing that i found out what you said about me from the people you talk bad about me to . and hello , choose the people properly okays , cause obviously you chose the wrong people who are close to me , cause obviously , they'll tell me what you said . i thought you're smart , but i didn't know that you don't use your brains when it comes to this . and about what i wrote at my blog ? its ME who agreed to the blogger agreement , its MY name the blog's under . & I have the freaking rights to blog whatever i want . dont you get it , this is an ONLINE DIARY made public for the public to see . and if you're freaking unhappy about it , get out of here . so what if i called you a shag ?, its my opinion about you , and can you change it ? NOOOO , so shut up . after reading this post , if you feel unhappy , call me up and say , 'can we talk ?' , like what you did to Renny & Irsyad , and not complain to mrJU . cause by doing that , you're not moving me to let go of this problem , but you're pushing me to DISLIKE you even more . understand ? and i don't regret letting all this out here cause i know you'll read it cause im gonna ask you to , and moreover , im scared that you're feelings gonna get hurt when i say it right your face . so , read it here . and do consider my feelings also okays , ure not the only one who's sensitive here okay , i am too , but i manage my feelings much more better than you do . and honestly , im more troubled than you are , and it doesnt help that you're getting me into more trouble . im human , and i have feelings too . so , before you push all the blame on me , look at youself and the problem and don't go around just pushing the blame at anybody you wish cause hello , im not some person who have nothing better to do to find fault with you . you're the one who's causing the problem cause , get this right , 3 , T-H-R-E-E PEOPLE ARE AGAINST YOU ! dont you think of what you have done till 3 people are unhappy with you ? if you still don't get the msg , i'll make it clear , im very unhappy with you .
so had rehearsals today , and it suck . cause the teacher abused her authority . what the hell . & farah dear , cheer up (:
Sunday, April 6, 2008
i promised i'll blog with pics . so there . the mamaRYANN's bithday outing was fun , cassandra , irsyad , renny , joe , mira , dk , chrissy , aznil , fika . & daniel ho , eugene and adith joined us but disappeared after a few minutes . and as you can see , halfway through the day , my hair got messily weird . and i assure you its not a pretty sight . & we were like sweating alot cause we keep running from places to places . we were like all over the place . but overall , it was fun . cause the whole lot of us , keep doing stupid stuffs , like the 'swoosh-swoosh' thingy & the littlemissobsessive handsigns . & i made new friends ; dk , mira , fauzan , fika , aznil . okay maybe the fika & aznil part not quite cause they were quiet . so overall it was fun , but unfortunately the outing got me grounded for 3months . yes , three long months . gaga ~ i was only 10minutes late , and i got grounded for 3months . abit too unreasonable , but what can i do ? and theres like too many stupid videos of us . tak kuasa nk blog . 0.0''
& ouh ya , i have lots more photos to upload , like the pulau semakau trip and also the times when me , renny , irsyad & md.daniel camwhore at hgmall rooftop . hahas . perhaps , when im not lazy or when im not suffering from stupid headache which is killing me . goodbye blog , hello art xD .
im sick of this . that feeling still suck .
Friday, April 4, 2008
hellohello . school's been really fun this few days , only that i get severely agitated or watever everytyme i see her . yes you , i know you'll read dis . read this tag , if the her was referring to me , ure soo wrong .. hey;i reaaly broke down wen i read her bloggay. well;i'm better den her in everyway, except that she rots better than me.lols if you were referring to me , miss , who rots now ? since , all the 3 of us refuse to talk to you ? pls dont get emotional like , i reaaly broke down cause ure just acting like a fool and seeking attention so that people will sympathise you . like hello , ive been close to you for the past year , its no surprise i know how you behave . and you tend to get a little too emotional . & dont you geddit ? ure jokes are not funny . i was willing to forgive you for everything and just start everything back to normal , but you have to backstab me by saying stuffs to him that so not true . now ive yet to forgive you for , 1) telling renny that i apologise to you just for the sake of apologising during the kukup trip . 2) calling me bitch countless times . 3) for accusing me , that im preventing from you getting close to irsyad . theres lots more , but i cant be bothered to blog it all here . why should i tell you your mistakes towards me , when , you should know all of them yourself . and what part of ' your jokes not funny ' , that you dont understand ? miss , before judging me , judge yourself , cause your aint that good either . you're infinity times more worse than me .. so , think about it . maybe , you should start trying to apologise , then maybe i'll start considering whether i should forgive you . get the idea now ? and one more fact to realise my dear friend , YOU rot more than i do . get the facts right .
so , today theres no school & im going out with a whole bunch of awesome people to celebrate mamaRYANN's burfday . like yay ~ will update & post lots of pics like soon okay .
and i still have mixfeelings , to hold on or let go ? this , sucks alot .
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
hello . school's okays . only that i became totally moodless after school . & mrB didnt come to school today so , 4 free periods including poa . played true or dare and i got dared twice .. 1) to sing twinkle-twinkle-little-stars at the teacher in charge who's watching over us at the same time make fun of his two-pin socket moles . 2) flirt / act seductively towards Kevin Raozan . but my favourite was Renny's dare where , she had to go spank Akif on his back and then scream , ' BITCH ! IM PREGNANT ! ' .., and then slap his face hard . imagine how shocked Akif was , he was completly lost , obviously . and Cassandra had to go to Mer and say , ' Hello Mer , do you know guys have dicks ?' , and Mer's reaction was damn funny . lols . and we played another game which is damn funny , too bad idk how to describe , but we had lots of fun . so yeahhs . & maybe the sial family & some other pple are going out to celebrate MamaRyann's birthday . weee ~ so thats all . wanna go write my karangan now & also try to study maths . ouh boy , u freaking backstabber ! u deserve this shit from us for all the shits you did to us . what goes around comes around girl . you have no one but yourself to blame .
Profile
not the girl next door
Nurul Amirah but you can call me Amy , Meera or Ami for short .
I say what i feel with no intentions to hurt , so if you're sensitive , its not my problem .
I still cry over the slightest thing , despite turning 18 this Dec .
