okayyyyy, i didn go skool AGAIN todayyy. hahas. im still sick. alarhhhhhhs.. i miss my classmates alortt & hym oso. didn gett tuhh see dem 2 dayys tawww. i noe deyy miss mwe too bcoz theyy told mwe. so swit larhhh seyyyy. hahahas.
i went online & gee went online. denn suddenlyy,, md. daniel chatted wif mwe,, denn suhaimi.. denn faris.. denn FARAHHHHHH!!! denn saangeetha. walao.. ua l so swit larhh cann. daniel sound ouus-so-concern. faris as usual wif his nonsense,, IM NORT GIAN OKAYYY!!! K cann bbe alortt of things,, kaen burok,ketamine,kidscentral. hahahas. suhaimi MISSES mie,, lyke funny seyyy... i didn noe he was derr 'i-miss-my-frenn' type. farah of ocz misses mwe,, she tk hbes2 wif herr BR larhhh. bocoh rahsia ehhhs? hahahs. saangeetha of coz misses mwe tooo. so swit larhhh demmm. cannn? i felt soo lucky just noww.. hahahas. i lurve ; SAANGEETHA , FARIS , SUHAIMI , MD.DANIEL , FARAH. yay. hahahahas.
i miss mr.bestfrenn larhhh seyyy. i wann kol hym. cannn? we'll see. hahhas.
yesterdayyy,, chatted wif NANA-GILERKU on derr fone. she wass sooo busyy cleaning herr room okayyy. rajinnyer anak who? nasruddin? isit? im nort sure.. hahahas. she accidentally hung-up twice okayyy. sooo saddd. tk ehhhhs. but she called backk.. denn after nagji oso she called & we crapped about a girl who doesnt take care of her virginityy.. hahahas. NANA-NANA!! i lurve my giler cannn? denn yesterdayyy before i went offline,, she told mwe sumtink reallie sweet larhhh seyyyy.. syyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyg nana. im here ferr youuu too tawww. porcupine & peace are sooooo dumb. ryte? ryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyte. & ouuuuh yarrr,, i went tuhh dat gerl's profile larhhh seyyy. she's preetyyy... so-called minah-tudong cannn? hahahahas. paki tudong tapiik buat keje tk senonohh. okayyyy,, ure onne gerl who bring derr whole malay communityy down. dumb-ass. its bcoz of pple lyke youuu dat pple look down on derr malay community. haiyoooooos. tkderr maruah keperr gerl? mrepek jerrrr.. hahahas. nana.. dier mrepek kannn?. yerppppps. i agree.
i woke up around 12 todayyyy. im super tired okayyy.. & super sick tooo. but ouuuh welll,, I DIE-DIE WANN GO SKOOL TOMORO!!! i wann see all my classmates,, & oso mr. bestfrennn. YAY!!!
(:
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
oooooooooooooooooo. pathetic larhhh seyyy.. im nort gettink well, im gettink werse. & i didn go tuhh skool again todayyy. i woke up earlyy morning with super painful headache,, & oso.. wif derr 'superr-tired-i-wann-tuhh-sleep' feeling. sooo i wenn bck tuhh sleep lurhhhs.
i woke up around 11 todayyy, wooohooo. okayyyy,, my temparature is still highhh. & derr headache it still dere,, i couldn go bck tuhh sleep,, anywayyy,, i carnn bbe sleeping all day ryte.. & super irritating cannn,, my voice sooooo serakkkkk. & i carnn stopp coughing. wahhhhhhhhhhs.
I WANN GO SKOOL TOMORO!! i dunn care. we'll seeee..
noww,, im super bored. & im all alone at home since both my siblings are in skool & my parents are at werk. nobody's even online. haiyarhhhhhhs,, soooo boring larhhhhs.
& walao,, i just remembered,, dere's malay dance practise todayyy. datt means i carn goooooo. )): alarhhhhh,, ive been looking ferward tuhh practise okayyys. haiyarrrhs. i even semangat go kol shark chairman tuhh ask about todayyys practise. alarhhhhh. tooooo badddd miirahhh.
nvm,, i wann edit photo. wif.. ??? watever.
done,, okayyy BYE!!!
(:
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
alarhhhhhh,, i just remembered,, lyke soo touching kannnn. farah sang mwe datt song,, wennn i was lyke going thru somewhat depression.. also because of who else.. lyke so sweet seyyyy.. she was struggling tuhh remember derr lyrics while singing it ferr mwe. hahahahahas. i lyke derr song larhhhhhh. bcoz she sang it ferr mwe.
i still remember andy who sang break & more denn werds bby frankie j ferr mwe. gagaga. but ouuuh welll. nawwww,, dunn tok bout derr past.
i took derr efort tuhh go find derr lyrics larhhh seyyy. i lurve-lurve-lurve derr song. ((((:
keep holding on ;
You're not alone Together we stand I'll be by your side, you know I'll take your hand When it gets cold And it feels like the end There's no place to go You know I won't give in No I won't give in
Keep holding on 'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through Just stay strong 'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you There's nothing you could say Nothing you could do There's no other way when it comes to the truth So keep holding on 'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
So far away I wish you were here Before it's too late, this could all disappear Before the doors close And it comes to an end With you by my side I will fight and defend I'll fight and defend Yeah, yeah
Keep holding on 'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through Just stay strong 'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you There's nothing you could say Nothing you could do There's no other way when it comes to the truth So keep holding on 'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
Hear me when I say, when I say I believe Nothing's gonna change, nothing's gonna change destiny Whatever's meant to be will work out perfectly Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
La da da da La da da da La da da da da da da da da
Keep holding on' Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through Just stay strong 'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you There's nothing you could say Nothing you could do There's no other way when it comes to the truth So keep holding on 'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
Keep holding on Keep holding on
There's nothing you could say Nothing you could do There's no other way when it comes to the truth So keep holding on 'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
((((:
im lyke bck home sooooo earlyy todayyy larhhh seyyy. veryy-veryy weird. but ive gort no where tuhh go.. so i went bck home.
i did went tuhh skool todayyy. its lyke super boring larhhhs. art tcher never come.
& im lyke super pissed wif pple who just carn keep their comments tuhh demselves. i give youu TWO choices. its either,, YOU COMMENT UR HEAD OFF RYTE AT MY FACE!!! or KEEP UR BLOODY MOUTH SHUT!!! but if youu continue toking badd about mwe,, ouuuuh thnks alortt,, coz all ur pahala goes tuhh mwe. thnks-thnks-thnks. but pls larhhh ehhhs,, whyyy nort youu judge urself ferst before youu judge sumonne else.. because both of youu should noe dat ure no better. & its onlie ryte dat youu dunn comment bout mwe,, wenn youu urself aint dat good. ure just good at commenting pple without realising derr fact dat ure just derr same,, or in fact even worse coz YOUU CARN KEEP UR MOUTH SHUT!!! ive saed my piece. wann tuhh comment summore? think ferst larhh ehhhs. i mentioned no names here,, so dat pple wont terase.. but those two,, noe who they are..
i actuallie saed i dunn care about hym animore,, hahahahas. i noe im lying a few minutes after i saed datt. wahhhhhhhhhs. suddenlyyyy,, haiyarhhhhhhhhhhs. i started missing hym AGAIN!!! & wenn i saed i dunn care,, i actuallie do care.. & i noe i wont stopp caring. i noe youuu dun need mwe,, but im still here.. & i'll bbe here wenn youu need mwe. dats a promise i sayyy. but wth. no larhhhh ehhhhs. dream on larhhhhhh mira. im just hping dat onne dayyyy,, you'll just cum tuhh realise urself datt sumonne do care without youuu noeing,, im nort hoping ferr a thnkz or concern in return but im jus hoping dat youu taccaire.. and just noe im here even thou it seems dat im nort. lyke i saed,, ive stopped crushing on youuuuu.. i lost a close frenn i lurved sooo much.. but its a fact dat i'll never stopp lurving youu as my brother. sooooo,, sayy PEACE!!! dats wadd i wann between us.. & nort fight in every conversations. youve chnged. alort of pple sayyyy. but still,, ure still datt adeqq i lurve soo much. hahahas. i miss youuu alortt larhhh seyyyy. cannnn?
&& SUFYAN SUPER SOMBONG!!! WALAO!!! we chatted on derr phone ferr lyke half-an-hour without realising dat adlins dear hang-up olreadyyyy,, we were conferencing,, & adlin wasnt active.. she was mumbling tuhh herself.. nn mwe nn sufyan was lyke so enthusiastic nn keep toking nn toking nn toking but stopping occasionally tuhh check wether adlins still there. denn we didn realised dat adlin hung-up after half-an-hour of crapping. hahahahahas. but todayyyyyyyyyyy,, you sooo sombong larhhhh sufyann.. nmpk tk tahu nk tegor kerrr? wait ferr mwe tegor summore? haiyarhhhhs. youu never learn. watever.
(:
Monday, July 23, 2007
im lyke burning wif anger noww. wtf larhhh seyyyyy.. i didn go tuhh skool ferr onne dayy & both of youuu totally took advantage of derr whole situation. knknkn? its totally fine wenn youuu treat mwe lyke some idiot at skool. but its just an request tuhh see youuu todayyy wif hym nn herr. ehhhhs walao. im super angryyy cann? i called youu up but youu off-ed ur hp. denn wenn i called ur bf he saed youu were wif dat BUTCH!!! ehhhhs walao.. ehhhhhs,, so-called butch,, i noe ure nort onnne.. but its derr wyy youuu act dat make pple think dat u are onne. youu ahve absolutelyy no shame,, wenn youuu claimed dat she ur bestfrennn, denn summore sayy fcuking things dat super irritated mwe. ehhhhhhsss. NO SHAME!!! she never ever wanted tuhh do things wif youu okayyyy. ure derr onne whoo look nn sound so desperate dat she had no choice but too do watever youu wann. ehhhhhs,, walao. summore youuu cann sayy we stole her from youuu? ehhhhhhs, read carefully larhhh ehhhhs. its,, YOUU WHO STOLE HER FROM US!!! nort derr other wayy round. youu gundu. sooo derr bingapp larhhh seyyy. pkaiii otakk larhhhhs. she owaes go out wif youuu & she owaes head tuhh dat block tuhh meet youu everytyme after we go out,, bcoz youuu keep calling herr & SO CALLED BEGGED herr tuhh come down. i carn even have hours of fun wif her,, bcoz u keep calling non-stop. she's giving youu face okayyy. walao. im lyke sooo fed-up cann? dennn summore,, youu make mie feel as if im following derr twoo of youu around wenn actuallie,, IM NORT!!! seriouslyy speaking,, ure derr onne who's following us around. or isit we following youuu bcoz we are forced tuhhh. if nort you'll bbe sooo bored tuhh death ryte? but damn,, who fcuking hell cares? u think she care ryte? no she doesnt.. she doesnt lyke being wif youuuu. ure just a pain in derr ass. u'll grumble non-stopp wenn nobodyyy is wif youuu. denn wenn she is wif youu,, youu start being so self-centerd & keep her tuhh urself. but luckilyyyy,, im understanding,, & i understand my frennn's ; nort dat butch situation veryyy welll. but hell no,, am i gonna keep quiet wenn dis whole thing stepp up tuhh a whole new level. youuuu're nort gonna take herr awayy from mwe. she's my bestfrennnnnn. okayyy. get datt? & bcoz of youuuu,, im owaes left alone in class because she have tuhh entertain youuuu. youuu suck okayyyyy. ive hadd enough. ive warn herr from derr beginning.. but she still chose tuhh get close tuhh ryte? denn noww,, afterr saying ure gonna meet up wif mwe after skool,, she completelyy didn,, & she didn even care tuhh inform mwe,, i was waitink ferr youu ferr lyke hours okayyyy. & wenn i finally called ur bf up.. i found out dat youuu are wif dat butch. alerrrmakkk,, darah megirappp siakkkk. fine. since youu wann it dat wayyyyy. youu told herrr olreadyyy ryte? but it wont get stuck tuhh her head bcoz she's just a stubborn bitch,, a self-centered onne at datttt. watever larhhh ehhhhs.. im gonna trash things out ASAP!!!
(:
im here blogging basically because,, I DIDN GO SKOOL TODAYY!!! & surprisinglyy my borther didn go as well,, cause he gort sore eyes. wenn i gort fever. reallie hawt larhhh seyyy.. but noww im super bored coz i carn go bck tuhh sleep. & i havent eat my medicine,, reason being i havent eat. lerrrrx,, miirahhhhhh..
farah saed she's cumink over later wif haizan dearest & oso hym. hahahahs. yay. i carn waiit. finally some entertainment. but i ahve tuhh wait till? 1.30? 2.30? 3.30? dunnoe larhhh ehhhhs. farah derr dillie-delaying sorttt. sooo WATEVER!!! it doesnt matter wadd tyme theyy cum,, as long as theyy cum. (((((((:
dear lynette,, mwe nn hym lyke normal onlie. still frennns.. but nort as close as last tyme. saddd larhhhhs. but tooo badddddd.
& I MISS FADHIL!!! cann?cann?cann? i noe derr answer will bbe cannot. & my nana giler will seyyy,, ''giler,, stoppit larhhh seyyyy'' wif datt cute-cute-cute voice of herrs. & ouuuh yarrr.. i miss huda,, nana,, haizan,, anirah.. & hakeem,, taufiq,, jamshik,, & AMIRUL adeqqkuuuuuuu. my AIAI oso. weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeex.
mira giler. firas soooo mrepek cannn? nenek tuer tu irritatink larhhhhs.
kayyy bbye.
(:
Sunday, July 22, 2007
since huda ask mwe tuhh update. i will. (((:
im super hell bored. i didn do anyyy of my hmwerk & i didn even touch my art. reason being ; IM SIIIIICK!!! since thursdayyy actuallie.. i olreadyyy hadd super-painful headaches due tuhh derr scorching hawt sun datt shined on mwe during derr sculpture walkk.. & fridayyy morning wenn i was gettink readyy ferr skool,, i almost wanted tuhh vomit. yett i still wenn tuhh skool. denn derr moment after i had my bath wenn i reach home on fridayy,, i slept from 6.30pm till 10pm.. i wake up occasionally from tyme tuhh tyme tuhh scream in pain. i was irritating i noe. denn wenn i finally gett tuhh dragg myself tuhh derr kitchen tuhh swallow A panadol.. i carn get myself tuhh sleep. & mummy ask mwe tuhh eat.. but i just could nort swallow derr food in. i watch a bitt of tv.. denn i slept again till i woke up superr late till i carn go madrasah again... i ponteng 1 month olreadyyy.. & denn,, i ferget everytink i did. haiyarrrs. peluper btoll larhh deknie. all i remembered i watch hikmah 3 on cd.. makdatok - 14cds tawww. denn i saww my aiai,, hahahas. we played stoopid games yesterdayyy. aiai naughtyy-naughtyyy. hahahas. i watch anugerah second telecast todayyy since i was super bored. i think dat should bbe all.
&&& im lyke sooo sadd fer hym cann? haiyarrrrs. ur mum is lyke sooooo UNREASONABLE!!! watever.
& haizan dearest pllllllls stopp slashing. kak mira is here ferr youuuuu.
& racial harmony day cum be urself day was ermmmms,, lyke a normal skool dayyy. nutink much happened. its just different coz we dunn have tuhh wear our uniforms. & i skipped chem class wif farah on fridayyy. & it was damn swayyyy wenn i bumped into our chem tcher otw malay classs. wahhhpiang. denn she wass asking mwe lorttts of questions. haiyarrrrs. swayyyy seyyyyy. but luckilyyy she didn scold.
after skool on fridayyy mwe nn farah nn haizan MERAYAP!!! we went tuhh haizan's house,, denn went tuhh mac at rp tuhh meet hym nn khaliq. hahahahahas. boring seyyyy..
&& fared told mwe about derr THEM thingyyy. aiyarhhhhhhhs. i dunn lyke derr solution okayyyys. dunn beat up ur frennns even if u were trying tuhh protect mwe. goood frenns dunn fight. & i dunn wish tuhh cum in between frenns. watever.
i think i crapped alortt. stooopid stuffs dat is. hahahas. kayyy bye.
(:
Thursday, July 19, 2007
im sooo,, sian-sian-sian. urghhhh..
todayy hadd derr sculpture walkk. & i felt reallie sorie ferr farah,, bcoz seh was left behind bcoz she went bck home tuhh take her camera. walao. tcherr.. a few minutes onlie wont make a difference tuhh derr plann. walao. aiyarhhhhhs.. so i was wif saangeetha all derr wayyy.. & i just realised datt derr our so-called air-stewardess at serawak dh sombong gilerrrrr.. amirah ahmad said larhhhhs. i tok tuhh herr she never rplyy. knaperr seyyy ngann dier. watever.. okayy derr sculpture thingyy was.. SUPER BORING GILERRRRR!!! aiyarhhhhhs. but it was compulsaryy.. if we never go we must payy $18. & derr tripp wasnt worth it okayyye. wateverrrr arhhhs.
im sooo bored. & im gonna kill ayul if he do derr hmwerkk tomoro. hahahahas.
(:
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
its tyme tuhh bbe a bigg gerl noww.. & bigg gerls dunn cryyy..
guess im nort datt bigg. coz at derr moment as im typing out dis post,, tears are forming in myy eyes. guess im nort strong as i think i am,, coz i broke down durink srp todayyy. & derr tcher was veryy worried about mwe. ''are youu okayyy? are youu crying? are youu in pain? stomach pain? heart pain? wadds wrong? wann tuhh share wif mr ong? are youu okayy??'' & i just replied. ''nutink cherr.."" i didn do my srp werksheet.. coz derr tcher lett mwe rest,, denn he ask farah tuhh take care of mwe,, in case i jump down from derr skool building. no larhhh ehhhs,, i'll just swallow 20 panadols. or even more. i swallowed 2 w/o apparent reason dat dayyy,, so i'll bbe gladd tuhh swallow 18 more next tyme. im soooo depressed okayyye. i saww youuu nn i wann tuhh sayy hi. but i jus carnnn,, i jus dunn dare.. i couldn even bring myself tuhh smile at youu. instead i jus follow derr floww my frenns are in nn laugh along wif demm. i wann go up tuhh youu nn sayy i miss youu alortt. but i dunn have derr courage.
i find myself changing nowadayyys. i do things i dunnwann tuhh.. i irritate my frenns. i dont do my werkk.. except ferr art. im gettink thinner.. & weaker. i get tired easilyyyy.. & maybbe i'll even bbe lyke last year,, wenn i get sort off fits every tyme. maybbe i'll even bbe in pain everytyme lyke last year.. maybbe i will lose my appetite again lyke dis year nn beginning of dis year.. & maybbe i'll just bcum crazyyy nn depressed bcoz of youu.
IMISSYOUU!! IMISSYOUU!! IMISSYOUU!!
i mayy seem strongg.. nn ive been holding back derr tears,, ferr sooo long till noww,, i jus carn help it anymore. im crumbling. & tears just fall from dis eyes even wenn i dunn wann tuhh.
& nana will just sayyy.. ''my giler.. pls stopitt.'' HAIYARHHHHHS!!! i carnnn as much as i wann tuhh.
puhlease.PHULEASE!! im begging youuuu. tok tuhh mwe.. even if youu wont sayy you miss mwe tooo. tok tuhh mwe & lett mwe bbe who i used tuhh bbe again. puhlease.
&& youuuu.. ferr goodness sake. just patch up wif herr larhhh ehhhs,, ure makin mwe lyke a fool. uve hurt mwe enoughhh.,, & im nort strong tuhh see youu around wif herr.
):
Sunday, July 15, 2007
im lyke,, SOOOOOOOOOOO TIRED!!! i was werking on my art half derr dayy yesterdayy & whole dayy todayy. i opened my eyes dis morning nn i started stressing about my art. i was unable tuhh print-out my research due tuhh stupiiid printer. urghhh!! luckilyyy distant cuzzin shafizan lives nearbyy & he cann help mwe print larhhhhs. YAY!!! FIZAN SEYYY!!! mwe nn hym are owaes squabbling wenn we meet which is lyke often since we're cuzzins nn we live nearbyyyy. but he helped mwe todayyyy.. i admit i was desperate. i wann tuhh stopp playing HIDE & SEEK with art tcher. ahahahhas. mannnn,, im tired. i havent iron my skool uniform & pack my skool bag & yett im here blogging. i dunn give a damn since i deserve dis after werking all dayy todayy & half dayy yesterdayyy.. & guess wadd,, im nort even near completing my art assignment.. im on page 5 out of 16. urghhhhhs!!! TIRED LARHHHH OIIII!!!
& i made 2 trips tuhh compass todayy & yesterdayy.. tuhh buy ART stuffs. & i bought wrong size drawing block.. but,, WHO CARES!!! as long as i gort paper tuhhh draw on im okayyyy i have tuhh draww more thumbnails,, modify nn draww my 3 layouts nn colour everytink. how mcuh do i have? 1 DAYYY!!! so i dunn care,, im bringing my art filer tuhh skool tomoro.. & draw wenerver i cann. im desperate. haiyoooooos.
but despite all those werk i have,, i still did sufyan's frenster profile. its nyce larhh seyyyy.. im lyke complementing my self. hahahahas. watever. i chnged ferr hym twice coz he was choosy nn didn lyke derr ferst onne. hahahas. its okayyyy,, ferr my fake-fake boyfrennn. & it didn take much tyme.. about 1 hour.. doesnt make any difference. IM TIRED!!! & after ironing my uniform nn packing mys chool bag.. IM OFF TUHH SLEEP!!! nyte-nyte.
(:
Friday, July 13, 2007
todayyy was such a slack AGAIN!!! i scribbled my overdued english homewerk during maths lesson.. but i was smart nort tuhh get caught. verytyme derr tcher walk past i would switch tuhh maths. hahahas. & i screwed up my shownntell. urghhh.. nn derr cherr actuallie saed dis,, '' wahhhhs. M-O-S pencilbox urhhhs? COOOL!!!'' hahas cherrr.. WATEVER!!! denn i just mumbled everytink i thought i should sayyy. wth.
& todayyy derr upper-sec gort ASSEMBLY!!! super borink larhhh seyyyy... farah fell asleep halfwayyy,, & i tot she was awake.. but actuallie i was toking tuhh myself derr whole assembly until i finally shook her up. aiyarhhhhhhs. kt hall ponn sempat tdo. denn after assembly.. i gort soooo fcuked-up bby herr ferr telling mwe stuffs last minute & ended up being alone.. but luckilyyy hudaria, anierah nn nana saved mwe from my loneliness. hahahs. im exaggerating.. hahahas. spell wronglyy i think.. & ouuuuh yarrr.. mr chris. tan ask mwe nn farah tuhh read tuhh derr skool during assembly on idunnoewenn. its either mwe or farah.. or both on stage coz both of us have stage fright & we are permitted tuhh accompanyy derr other person. YAY!!! hahahahas.
todayyy we hadd malay dance practise. but i didn dance much. i slacked. AGAIN!!! haiyarhhhhhhs. i lurve dania larhhhhhs. she make mie laugh fcuking lorttts.. wif everytink she did. hahahas. damn funny..
(:
Thursday, July 12, 2007
heyloooooos. skoool has been a slack nowadayyyys. even thouu i dunn ponteng class nowadayyys. i dunn studyyyy in class either. i slack alortt & put my phone in my bag & listenn tuhh music. lortts more of my classmates are doink dat too. but i still copyy down my werk. yarrrs.. budden nort derr ryte wayyyy.. i just scribble. i wann catch up on my werk dis weekend. i hope. derr onlie clas i payy full attention tuhh is chemistry.highermalay.socialstudieslecture.electivehistory. i havent even done my art. i carn print my research. my dumb printer nort werking. & i finish srp so late datt derr skool comp lab is close. makkkoiiiiii. leceh urhhhhs.
& farah told mwe sumtink esad. its extremelyyy sadd and disappoiting nort eat shit annd die okayyys. hahahas. he told herr derr thing ive been waitink tuhh noe ferr lyke ages.. nn it was devastating. i cried. yesh i did. after about holding derr tears bck half derr dayy. & i swallowed 2 panadol pills ferr no apparent reason. i lied wenn i told farah i was having headaches. i wasnt. i just wanted tuhh numb derr sadness. & it werk. but after dat about 30minutes later i felt so sleepyyy. its hard i noe.. bcoz he's my close-close-closest frennn.. but ouuuuh well.. even thou he disappoint mwe alortt. he's still my everytink.
& my dearest haizan. dunn do things dat hurt youuu. im here. farah's here. & everybody is here ferr youuu. dunn hurt urself bcoz of hym. its nort worth it.
& tuhh dis particular person. im giving youu face so dat it'll protect ur non-existing reputation as im gonna make youu anonymous. but still,, you'll noe who youu are. pls dun create problems ferr urself,, bby badmouthing mwe nn insulting mwe among ur group of frenns. i noe youve been derr onne who started influenicing ur frenns tuhh turn their bck against mwe. even thou ive nort done anitink tuhh youuu. i was informed bby a close frenn of urs on how badd youu insulted nn badmouthed mwe. i broke down. reallie. my self-esteem is realie-realie low due tuhh dis. wadd more doo youuu wann? even afterr all derr pain youu caused mwe tuhh go thru,, im still here & im still worrying ferr youuu. bcoz i still think of youuu as sumonne i dearlyy lurve. sumonne who comfort mwe wenn i gort hit on derr chest & mouth bby a superhardsoccerball. i still remember derr werds youu saed tuhh stopp my sobbs,, i still remember ur calm voice ask mie whether im okayy. i remember eveytink we did together. but do youuu? guess nort. youuu most prob anti mie noww since youu anti almost everytink. wadd tuhh do. but im nort give up trying tuhh knock some sense into ur head. coz i still regard youuu as my adeqq..
& aiai/didil. IMY SEYYYY!!! & dearest adeqq AMIRUL too.. aiyarhhhhs. never cum skool two dayyys. ishk3.
tomoro ANDY's burfdayyyyy.. hahahas. i still remember.. but watever. im just gonna wish hym. hope i dun ferget.
(:
Monday, July 9, 2007
im lyke soooo sadd. & confused. nn i feel lyke kicking nn throwing things around. i feel lyke pulling out my hair. i feel lyke crying but dis tears just wont fall.. maybbe its bcoz i cried too much dats its all used up.. i jsut feel sooo useless dat i'll bbe stuck in dis situation TWICE. & summore im lyke derr third partyy or rather forth. im suppose tuhh bbe helping herr but i fell ferr hym lyke sooo long ago & yett i onlie dared tuhh tell hym my feeling about 3 weeks ago. & noww im so confused.. maybbe i should just ferget about hym nn give hym up tuhh herr.. maybbe i should just do datt. im feeling so guiltyyy dat noww im trying tuhh put myself in her shoes & tryyy fucking hard tuhh ferget about hym. hym. my best frenn tuhh at least my everytink. he's my everytink.. 3 years we've been close & yett its onlie noww datt i dared tuh tell hym,, maybbe its just too little too late.. too badd mira. its ur fault. its my fault. yes its my fault.. wadd tuhhh do. im just soooo veryy sorie tuhhh herr datt i just feeling lyke knocking myself in derr head & tell myslef tuhh wake up. im sooo sorry.
& i noe. I SCREWED UP DAT FCUKING ORAL. i was lyke a-ahhh-ahhh all derr wayyy. i just didn noe how tuhh put my ideas into sentences tuhh answer derr tcher. lyke omfg. i read fine xcept ferr some messed-up werds,, but ouuuh-welll,, wadd cann i do? i just carnn possiblyy rewind everytink lyke wadd merdina saed. im just hoping ferr derr best ferr lc nn oso derr writen exam.
(:
Sunday, July 8, 2007
wahhhhs. im superr bored. yesterdayyy went batam. hahas. ntuink tuhh do at home.. so earlyy-earlyy mummy ask mie wake up follow herr go. so i followed. bcoz im lazyy tuhh go madrasah. hahas.
denn wenn we reach dere. we met our neighbour.. & her ouuuh-so-hansem son, abng sani & his ouh-so-pretty fiance, kak jiji. denn cik tipah drop as off at some salon denn my mum suddenlyy ask derr guy dere tuhh rebond my hair nn her hair. im lyke sooo surprise. & happy lyke durhhh. & soooo,, i cut my hair short. nort dat short but short. hahas. denn after rebonding cik tipah nn kak jiji pick us up,, nn we went tuhh eat dinner nn oso tuhh buyy some stuff. hahas. mummy nn mie didn buyy dat lortts of stuff but our neighbours sure did. hahas. terkedek-kedek dorang jln dgan beg dorang. hahas.
& ouuuuh yarrrr. im lyke soo sadd ferr my dear LYNETTE. aiyarhhhh lynette. dunn hurt urself darlink. seriouslyyyyy,, i reallie did go true wadd youre going thur noww. & i noe during dis period,, its hym u wann derr most. i noe dat feeling. u would cry-cry-cry tuhh lett out dat sadness but you'll still feel depress afterwards. i noe. ive gone thur dat. u hurt urself. u kick stuff. & wenn suddenlyy u thought about hym u start tuhh cryyy. i noe-i noe. ive gone thru dat. i realie-realie noe ure situation. youu jsut feel so stuck. youu wann tuhh ferget hym but youu carnn. wenn youu think youve stop thinking bout hym,, you'll start tuhh think about hym nn everytink will cum crashing thru ur mind again. i noe-i noe. ive gone thru dat. i understand ur situation very-very well lynettelydiang. i noe its hard noww.. but come tuhh think of it,, you'll get over dis very-very soon. seriouslyy,, trust mie.. even thou its veryy hard.. nn wenn youu think youu dun care anymore.. u actuallie do care. but sooner or later,, youu still would care about hym but youu wont bbe so depressed nn youu would stop thinking about hym eventually. nort stop thinking abotu hym all together.. but stop thinking about how mcuh youu lurve hym. now i noe u feel realie-realie hurt. but trust mie,, i promise,, youu would feel better. just cry eveytink out nowww.. you'll feel much better. but DONOT hurt urself. look mie up wenever u need suone tuhh tokk tuhh or a shoulder tuh cryy on. i promise nn assure youu dat i'll bbe there. i lurve lynette many-many.
(:
Wednesday, July 4, 2007
im currentlyyy on derr verge of bursting into tears. but im strong & im fighting my sadness bck.
ferstlyyyy,, my mood ferr derr dayy was completely ruined wenn i saw hym nn his gerlfrennn. arghhhh. its just sumtink i ahve tuhh face. too badd. i did cryy in derr canteen after a few minutes of holding derr tears bck. because sumone saed sumtink i didn wann tuhh hear at dat moment. sadd larhhhhs.
secondlyyy,, i saw my used-tuhh-bbe dearest adeqq after skool. nn dat,, i-miss-youu-adeqq feeling came bck after weeks of trying tuhh get over hym. aiyarhhhhs. i sms-ed hym,, he was supposed tuhh bbe my new frennn..
mira - heylooo new frenn,, i suddenlyy remembered my used-tuhh-bbe adeqq. i miss my hym alortt seyyy.
hym - do i noe you?
mira - salah hantar i think. who is dis?
hym - sorie. i dun give my name tuhh pple i dunnoe. who is dis?
mira - i think youu should noe larhhh. harima.
hym - harimau toking tuhhh mie? youu ok or nortt?
mira - i knew youu would sayy datt. H.A.R.I.M.A reverse derr letters.
hym - 5 i think.. 1 my cuzzin. the just now i sayy. 1 more is my aunt.. 2 more my pri school fren. 1 more my cuzzins gf.. which 1 is u?
mira - woah.. good-good larhh seyy. u just completelyy erase nurul amirah mohd moktar from your mind.. thnks alortt.
hym - who is she?.. cn add to my list.. bcum 6 amirah.
mira - hahaha. funny. watever larhhh boyy..
hym - ure welcum. ure so weird.. u tok tuhh mie as if i noe her before.
& ive decided from dat moment on,, i wanted tuhh stop toking tuhh hym. it just completelyy breaks my heart tuhh keep thinking bout sumone i dearlyy missed.. & find out he has completelyy erase mie from his mind. wenn i read derr third last msg,, tears hadd olreadyy started forming in my eyes. but lyke wadd farah saed,, big gerls dont cryy // or isit big cry dont girls.. farah? u noe wadd i mean. even thou he just completelyyy fergets about mie,, dat kakak-sayang-adeqq feeling wont just fade easilyyy.. maybbe a few months? a few years? or perhaps never.. kakak sayang adeqq larhhhh.
):
Sunday, July 1, 2007
im lyke super-super bored. hahahahahs. i went out wif ibu in derr morn,, she bought mie clothessssss. hahs. i wann summore cannnn? she sayyy cannn. hahas.
maybe going out tomorrow. do my art assignment. hmwerk larhhhhhs. AGAIN. skool reopens a week olreadyy siaaaa. urghhhhh..
dan SAYA ADALAH CANDIDATE YANG PERTAMA UNTUK MENDUDUKI PEPERIKSAAN LISAN GCE PERINGKAT O PADA 9HB JULAI 2007.
Nurul Amirah but you can call me Amy , Meera or Ami for short .
I say what i feel with no intentions to hurt , so if you're sensitive , its not my problem .
I still cry over the slightest thing , despite turning 18 this Dec .
