hello .
school reopens today and so far the first day of school suck ,
like how i expected it to be .
went to school with Farid , you made me almost late O.O .
had hair check in the morning but i didnt get into trouble , no surprise .
was struggling real hard to hide my nails , cause i painted it black .
the first 6 periods of the day was Art and i started painting on my canvas , yay !
and tcher really cant stop making ammendments to my final layout ,
which is driving me crazy cause i keep having to redraw the layout over & over again ,
which make me seriously really tired . didnt had the mood to go to school today as ,
my drawing pencils & foolscap pad went missing , and also because Ayah forgot
to buy me acrylic paint . on top of that , Goodbye waking up late in the middle of the afternoon and Hello 5.30am ! i want my holidays , cause i dont think i got any for the past month . nvmind , i think i will work and study my ass of for term 3 & term 4 and sit for my O's confidently and then enjoy myself by sleeping in and go out later .
after school today , got a phone call from Farah and bused down to Compass Point with
Ish to meet her , ate and talk and then me & Ish went to hide Madonna's album .
lols , dh tua buat hal tua ah nenek , nk action mananyer sexy jer . hahas .
and then walk around some more and went home . in school just now , had problems getting my class photographs cause the list indicated that i didnt pay T.T , but i did ! i ask my mum for like $70 just to pay for a whole bunch of assesment books teachers are making us buy and also to pay for the class photographs , so its highly impossible that i can pay for all the books and not pay for my class photographs . thought my $12 went to waste but Mr. Ju
gave me the 3 extras , but i didnt get the formal photo that i want T.T ,
and it still $3 wasted .. but its okays . it isnt Mer's fault she messed up , our class's just
too messy .. will settle for 3 instead of 4 . i badly wanna scan the photos in , but im lazy .
today also basically suck cause i found out that someone who i used to be close
to had worked her way to make my other school days in the past and also in the
future suck . really , i cant believe my ears went she told me .
what kinda friend are you ?
yes , you're the backstabber .
i may be loud and noisy but im definitely fun and i do made you laugh .
whatever you said about me to her and to her about me ,
goes to show how you are such a shallow-minded , childish , backtstabbing ,
self-centered , irrelevant , bull-shitty , judgemental person you are .
seriously , you fought with me , using the LAME-O excuse that
you cant stand my sharp words .. girl , maybe you should go check the word joke or joking
under the dictionary cause i was definitely joking .
saying that i insulted you and that i revealed your secrets ?
how bout when you insulted me without showing any signs that you were cracking
a joke ? you insulted me way much more than i insulted you , im very sure ,
cause you'd atleast insult me once in every half an hour ..
other than that , you scream , push , ordered me around , make use of me ,
being a good friend , i just bear with you're nonsensical behaviour and take
everything in , taking as though all the insults you shot at me were just jokes
when i know jolly well that you werent joking .
i put up with all your mood-swings and ive always tried my best to take care of
yours and Ish's feelings , but this is what you say bout me ?
a noisy girl who make use of people who everybody dislikes .
really ? you think im that way ?
i may be noisy but im just being myself ,
i do not make use of people , if i do which i dont , i would feel reallie bad .
and seriously , why would i wanna make use of people if my life's nearly complete ?
what about you ? atleast , i dont go around telling people stories bout you and
revealing people's secrets which you swear to keep private .
i dont go around being a two-headed bitch telling me you bad things about a friend
and then go tell that friend about you're bad qualities .
who the fcuk do you think you are ? now , i reallie despise you .
not only because , you initiated the super-nonsesical fight between us & influenced Ish ,
but also because you're a big fat liar & a back-stabber .
you said : she's all noisy and she always makes use of people .
she said : she's still you're friend .
you said : so what ?, only for a short while .
i may not be the best friend you ever had , i may have hurt you're feeling
along the way but i assure you i was never a backstabber , a two-faced bitch &
also a big fat liar .
and whoever hands over the right to you to be soo judgemental to judge me
when , you yourself aint any better . go do a reflection on yourself , are you that good that you can go around and judge , backstab and badmouth your head off about me ?
reallie , even when i was just keeping quiet , talking to Ish & Gee or painting my canvas ,
walking , sitting or just merely breathing , this question keep playing in my mind ,
what kind of friend are you ? and now , knowing that you're such a GOOD friend ,
you can even pretend that nothings wrong and that you ever bitch really bad bout me .
now , knowing that you're such a fake , i no longer regard you as my friend .
i can handle liars , but i cant and i dont which really tells you that i wont handle ,
backstabbers . Farah told me alot about you and how big you're mouth and ego is ,
but i didnt realise that you're a backstabber . i believe in Farah but not to the extend that
i had a bad impression bout you . but this and the confession that came out
of her mouth which have been kept secret for a really long time ,
made me think , that you're no better than a soul who lost his/her sense of direction
in life . you're worst than that , & im not gonna regret what im posting here ,
cause i know you're one heck of a person who dont deserve my respect .
go do a self-check on yourself and pls make your brain go overtime on
how to correct your backstabbing , lost , teenage soul .
im very angry & yeahs if you ever apologise which i think you wont ,
i would forgive but i'd never forget , and pls dont expect any respect from me ,
cause now i finally saw you're true colours that reallie make me despise youre guts ,
i dont hate you , i despise / abhore / loathe you , isnt that thousand more times worst ?
and i think , i ought to confess , ure hate words last time and times when you & Ish made fun of me , i reallie felt super vulnerable and honestly , when i cried in the lab both during the Shatec talk & ss revision class , both of you were also part of the reasons why i cried .
yeahs , been taking alot in w/o complaints and this is what i get from you ?
gosh , im so pissed .
and even though im letting go of my anger here by typing out sentences after sentences ,
trust me , im not even one quater done .
& Ish , im serious , knowing that shes like that , i no longer wanna talk to her
much more be friends with her .
no , im not being childish , i just dont want to get cheated & backstab again .
once bitten , twice shy .
ouh ya , thnks Farid Md. Noor , for the ouh-so-jiwang song .
bye , im very pissed .
